Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson Break Up: Age Difference to Blame

Shocking news? Not really.

Voluptuous young beauty Scarlett Johansson splits from raddled old actor Sean Penn.

Around here their relationship was called a break-up waiting to happen.

There's an old joke about age-difference relationships. You probably know it?

An old guy goes to the gym. He tries several different machines, pulling weights, running, rowing.

Suddenly he spots a beautiful young girl who's walked in wearing skimpy lycra shorts and a tight top. He calls the trainer over and asks him: "What machine can I use to impress that gorgeous young girl?"

The trainer looks him up and down and then says "If I were you I'd try the cash machine in the foyer."

And there you have it. In general, a young-girl-old-guy relationship is founded on her desirability and his cash.

So how would that apply to young Scarlett? The answer is: It wouldn't.

She's an accomplished film actress. She's acted alongside Colin Firth, Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Hugh Jackman and Robert Downey Jr. and been directed by Woody Allen and Robert Redford.

She isn't short of money or earning ability. She has a career that has more or less just taken off, given how young she is.

So what would interest her about Sean Penn? His experience perhaps. He was married to Madonna. He's had some good film reviews. But that would only have entertained her for so long.

And actually, Penn is highly over-rated as an actor. The movie world tends to rave about him but he has a limited acting range and his looks unfortunately work against him. He has a wretched little mouth with thin lips and there's nothing he can do to change it. If you recall the film with Susan Sarandon in which he was a condemned prisoner he had the most ridiculous hairdo in the history of hair. It's not possible to give a credible performance when the make-up department have lumbered you with a hairstyle that makes you look like an Elvis Presley impersonator. Quite apart from his looks, Penn - who is always presented as a passionate performer - is a truly ham actor. He's far from alone in that. People used to rave about Laurence Olivier and John Gielgud and both of them were as hammy as piglets.

But perhaps Scarlett found Sean irresistably attractive?

Doubtful. One British commentator recently remarked that Penn has come to resemble a squirrel in recent years. Yes, I see that. But whatever way you look at him, squirrel or otherwise, a beautiful healthy young girl of Scarlett's age is bound to find something rather distasteful about having a physical relationship with a man old enough to be her father. There's just too great a difference between her lovely young skin and his wrinkly body. Not his fault of course; just a fact of life.

Scarlett divorced a man around her own age not long ago and so it's a fair bet that she was experimenting with Sean Penn. She's now been through her relationship-with-a-man-old-enough-to-be-my-father phase and she can move forward.

The world will continue to be Scarlett's oyster for a number of years yet and good for her. She's young, beautiful, a good actress, hard working and she deserves success and a happy love life. She won't lack young men chasing after her.

Sean, on the other hand, would do well to stick roughly within his own age range and find a woman who can be genuinely interested in him. He is no doubt an interesting man with plenty to say for himself. He should have no need to go to the gym and use the cash machine to impress younger women.